Bonding

This prompted me to blog..

http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/05/monday-musings-were-you-breastfed/

I read and was even told before that babies who were breastfed grew up having close relationship with the mothers. Í think that was partly the reason why i pursued with breastfeeding. But of course, better health, immunity and IQ being the primary reasons. And also, to spite both my mom and mil *smirks*

See, i have the worst relationship with my mom. I wouldn't totally attribute to the fact that i wasn't breastfed, it was more of different personalities and if i can say (i'm allowed to since it's my blog) she's not exactly an easy person to love or live with. . I've had the worst of arguments with mom over the years and as i grow older, i'm convinced she's emotionally unstable. And instead of feeling closer and more appreciative of her now that i'm a mom myself, unfortunately i can't relate. I respect her for working hard and bringing food to the table but i'm not close to her. At all. It's kinda sad really.

I was brought up by grandma and i believe my mom 'lepas tangan'. She didn't know a lot of things when she wanted to help out with sofea. I can bet u she never woke up at nights to attend to her babies with the excuse that she has to work the next day. With her giving up my sister to grandaunt, that till now i can't fathom. Yes, i believe due to close age gap between me and mar, grandma can't possibly handle us both but to not even bring back your own baby at nights and/or weekends, that i can't imagine. It was said mar was too attached to grandaunt and would cry for her (vice versa). Which baby wouldn't if u leave him/her to the caregiver 24/7? Still if its my own child, i'll try by hook or crook to win her affection. Sigh, its bcoz of this that im v reluctant to let others care for sofea. It becomes complicated onces there's emotiional attachmnet. Anyway things happened, moving on.. only after grandma's passing she then tried to be nice to us kids. By then i was in my 20s and i obviously couldn't respond. She's more like a friend than a mother to me.

Anyway, what i';ve derived from the above blog is that generally yes, most breastfed babies are much closer to the moms. Even if it turns out one day that sofea and i have different personalities and opinions, i wish there's a strong bond still. Not just when she's small. I want our relationship to grow even when she's adult and has her own family. I want her to love and respect me as sincerely as ive given mine to her. At some extend, i believe it's already happening. She's extremely close to me. And i feel she knows that mommy loves her very much and will always be there for her (a trait my mom is lacking, jus to deviate a bit. She's so proud to tell others how she doesnt have to be there for us all the time and that her kids are independent. Always putting her career 1st.) i pray to Allah that the love, trust and understanding will always be there.