It's Saturday 8.05pm and here I am working on my laptop(did i mention i'm now working from home?) and half-watching Sky High on TCS5. And suddenly it triggers a memory. For me i can remember certain events better esp when linked to a song or movie or drama that happen during e event. Like HeadWind's Segalanya Mungkin. That song was dedicated by Wan to me when we 1st dated. Meaningful lyrics.. "inginku bersmamu hingga ke akhir hayatku" :) Like P.Ramlee's Tanya Sama Hati. It was on repeat mode when i was pregnant with Sofea. Im sure if I play it to her, she'll enjoy it.
This Sky High showing on tv.. well, i was sitting on this very same sofa in the evening some 5 months ago while watching it. A Light-hearted movie abt children of superheroes attending superheroes school. Funny stuff, only that i wasn't laughing. i was tearing and watching tv and pumping at e same time, hoping there's enough milk to feed my dear Sofea at the hospital later that night..
And earlier today, Wan asked me if i've been tired taking care of Sofea full-time. I didn't deny so he asked me to ponder over it coz my mom must have felt the same way. OF course, only difference is, my mom wasn't physically taking care of me. She was a working mom. So i pondered and I concluded.. no, i'm not a bad person. I appreciated and pitied mom for all her efforts BUT i loved the person who took care of me. I accompanied this person to the wet market every weekends. I cared for her and slept over at the hospital and bathed her everyday when she was hospitalised. During my teens i single-handedly dragged her into a cab to the doctor's just barely down the road coz she was so weak and breathless. I watched her sleep most nights and prayed she will never stop breathing. I loved my Grandma. So no, im not a bad person. But the arguments with mom over the years has made me a bitter person.
Sorry for the melancholy. Can't help it.
This Sky High showing on tv.. well, i was sitting on this very same sofa in the evening some 5 months ago while watching it. A Light-hearted movie abt children of superheroes attending superheroes school. Funny stuff, only that i wasn't laughing. i was tearing and watching tv and pumping at e same time, hoping there's enough milk to feed my dear Sofea at the hospital later that night..
And earlier today, Wan asked me if i've been tired taking care of Sofea full-time. I didn't deny so he asked me to ponder over it coz my mom must have felt the same way. OF course, only difference is, my mom wasn't physically taking care of me. She was a working mom. So i pondered and I concluded.. no, i'm not a bad person. I appreciated and pitied mom for all her efforts BUT i loved the person who took care of me. I accompanied this person to the wet market every weekends. I cared for her and slept over at the hospital and bathed her everyday when she was hospitalised. During my teens i single-handedly dragged her into a cab to the doctor's just barely down the road coz she was so weak and breathless. I watched her sleep most nights and prayed she will never stop breathing. I loved my Grandma. So no, im not a bad person. But the arguments with mom over the years has made me a bitter person.
Sorry for the melancholy. Can't help it.
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